Good marriages involve a permanent giving and receiving. When the couple feel part of the same team sees, as something normal, working together for the sake of their relationship. The primary cause of unhappy relationships, conflicts are not the problem, but how we manage them. Download anger, constructively, can actually do wonders to clarify things and get the balance back into the relationship. However, the conflicts become a problem when are characterized by the presence of four attitudes namely: criticism, contempt, defence, and closure.
1. Critical critique involves attacking the personality or character of your partner, instead of focusing on the specific conduct that bothers you. It is healthy to airing disagreements, but it is not attacking the personality or the nature of your spouse in the process. It is the difference between saying: I am upset because you did not you trash and say, I can’t believe that did not you trash. You’re so irresponsible. In general, women tend to use this attitude more often in conflict. 2 Contempt contempt is a step that goes beyond criticism and implies the overthrow or insult your partner.
Contempt is an open sign of lack of respect. Examples of contempt include: mock you for your partner, put eyes in white (look at other side), lead face of contempt, or knock down the other with the sarcastic humor. 3 Defense be on the defensive, in the midst of a conflict, can be a natural response, but does not help the relationship. When you’re on the defensive, usually, you experience a lot of tension and that hinders you approaches in what has been said. You react, for example, denying liability-dades, inventing excuses, or responding to one complaint with another. 4 Closure using this attitude when, you simply refuse to respond. Avail ourselves of this tactic, from time to time, can be healthy; but, as a typical way interact, it becomes destructive to any relationship. Enclosed, retreat, is a sign of exhaust in the marriage, instead of wanting to resolve the problems. Men tend to employ the tactic of enclosing much more frequently than women. All couples will use these types of conduct on occasion in her marriage. Now, when one of these attitudes reside, permanent, the relationship is on track to failure. There are couples in which each of the members, make yours one of these four attitudes. Then given the combinations, for example: critical defensive, contempt closure, etc., depending on if the personalities who interact are opposite. When personalities are similar combinations can give: critical criticism, closure closure, etc. The presence of four attitudes can give as different stages in the relationship of the couple. Tragedy occurs when one partner tries to repair the damage done by these attitudes, and the other receives him with rejection, repeatedly. In this case the possibility that the relationship ends in divorce is very large. But certainly there are ways of overcoming conflicts without recourse to these four attitudes.